OUGD401
Essay - Feedback

Feedback from tutor - A solid submission that has research which is current and relevant that supports my argument but I need to fully establish the argument. Weaknesses include, paragraphs need shortened and add images as the essay needs two images included, these images could be the Ikea catalogue I talk about or the NHS newsletters.

Improvements to be made - In editing I needed to shorten the paragraphs and edit the runs ons, the introduction and conclusion also needed slightly edited to help introduce and summaries my argument. The inclusion of images is also a improvement I needed to make to help support certain points I was making in the essay.